Uncle Stump

UPCOMING SHOWS

lyrics

ROOM

​

Gonna go down to the river, babe

That's where I wanna be

Gonna jump down in the water, babe

Gonna see what I can see

I'm free just like an eagle,

And like a beaver, too-

Gonna build a dam, oh yes I am

With room for me and you

​

We can hit the city

And I know just where to start

Get drunk at all the bars

And eat a hot dog off a cart

We'll rent a bike, do what you like

And when the night is through-

We'll walk that street to the hotel suite

Book a room for me and you

​

When my money's used up

Not a nickel to my name

Don't you worry, baby

I'll always feel the same

I'll get my mama on the horn

I'll tell her that we're screwed-

I'll tell her "Clean the cellar..."

Make room for me and you

ANITA

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Anita you know,

You're always eatin' my ants

I'll help you fasten your coat

I'll help you button your pants

You're nowhere to be found

On a regular day

But if you make me your clown

Then I'm an arm's length away

 

Anita, Anita

Anita

 

Anita you know,

I saw you roamin' the halls

You were eatin' my ants

And you were breakin' my balls

When I was down on my luck

You found a space you could run

But now you're tastin' my grapes

Inside my place in the sun

 

Anita, Anita

Anita

 

Anita you know, I hate the way you knock

The way you ring my bells

And hit my house with rocks

The phone is off the wall

And I try not to look

But when you find me I fall

For the tricks in your book

 

Anita, Anita

Anita

 

Anita you know, I could do things instead

Instead of rowin' your boat

I could be in your bed

I sure don't want your love

But I would not mind

A little physical touch

For all my work and time

 

Anita, Anita

Anita

 

Anita’s always acting as an animal

Her big brain’s barren but her belly’s full

Can’t keep cool and I can’t keep count

Don’t dare doing what you dream about

(X2)

NO HOME

​

I ain't got no home

Just this feeling,

of being left alone

I just need a lovin' face

To fill, this empty space

​

I ain't got no home

(I ain't got no home)

(X4)

​

I ain't got no time

No, no, I ain't got no time

For all of mankind's

Hidden truths, and wasted lies

​

I ain't got no time

(I ain't got no time)

(X4)

​

What a man needs is a home

No woman should be left alone

For a country, that's free

Supposed to be for me

Why does it feel like I

Ain't got no home?

​

I ain't got no home

A lost soul, with no home

Lies and prosperity

Just ain't for me

​

I ain't got no home

(I ain't got no home)

(X4)

​

I ain't got no time

To go down by the river and cry

No time, to wonder why

A homeless man, without a plan

​

Lost in the times

(Lost in the times)

(X4)

​

What a man needs is a home

What this country needs is some soul

So will the powers up above,

come down like a dove?

And fly all these lost souls to their home

​

BODY TALK

​

Body talkin', body talkin'

Everybody's body talkin'

Body talkin', body talkin'

Everybody's body talkin'

​

Everybody's doin' it, everybody's doin' it

Talk so loud but your mouth ain't movin'

Everybody's doin' it, everybody's doin' it

Speak up baby, let's get down to it

(X2)

​

CHORUS:

Talk so loud, can't say no

Yell so proud, everybody knows

Hear that sound, shake your bones

Now you're comin' round,

Bring it on home

​

MUCH TO SAY

​

Weight of the world comes barreling down

Trouble from my broken sound

Low on reason and rhyme

I'm just doin' it wrong before I do it right

​

Roll me up and smoke me again

 

Down where the love is thin

I mean the give and the go,

It don't bother me

Until I come up short in a time of need

​

CHORUS:

My dirty damn light

It's burning all night

This billowing glow

Is getting out of control

'Bout time I settle back down

No more foolin' around

But I really don't know

What it takes to-

​

Gone are the days where I waited and learned

Stubborn for my false return

It's all undo, remorse, and rue

So there's much to say

About the ebb and flow

Grab on to where you already know

Because your time'll run out

Before you're ready to go

No matter how you unfold

This looming glow

​

CHORUS

U-HAUL

​

CHORUS:

I saw my baby, in a U-Haul

She up and left me on a whim

She was driving, with a srewball

And now she's moving out west with him

​

I thought she loved me, I was mistaken

I saw them kissing in the rain

I heard she made him, eggs and bacon

All she made me was insane

​

Six in the morning, the time she left me

I'd never seen her in such a rush

But this time I, I wasn't ready

So now I drink three times as much

​

CHORUS

​

Got her a ring and, a lot of money

They're gettin' married in the fall

He called her baby, she called him honey

All she ever called me was Paul

​

CHORUS X2

FENCE

​

Old McDonald, sittin' on a fence

Beatin' his meat with a monkey wrench

Big ol' fence, knocked it down

Beatin' his meat all over town!

​

CHORUS:

Come back to your cornfield,

Come back to your plow

Your wife is trying to find you

But she don't know how

X2

​

Looked on the mountain, looked out back

He's runnin' down the street with a burlap sack

Grabbin' wood as he ran past

Lookin' for lumber, runnin' real fast!

​

CHORUS

​

Old McDonald lost his luck,

They threw him in the back of a police truck

Grabbed his sack, opened wide

Found some demons deep inside!

​

CHORUS

FUNKY CHICKEN

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There once was a funky chicken,
Looking for some funky chicks
He lived in a funky ass house
Made of funky ass bricks
He walks around town,
Flapping his feathers at the girls
Singin’ “Baby come with me
for the funkiest time in the world!”

CHORUS:
‘Cause I am the funkiest chicken
Of them all
For the funkiest, finger-lickin’ time
Give me a call
There’s room for two or three
Or four, or ten
‘Cause for every funky chicken
There is a funky ass hen

Do the Funky Chicken!
Do the Funky Chicken!

Now this funky ass chicken
Found himself in a funky little pickle
He had two of the finest chicks
Claiming he’s their man
He said “Stop it now ladies
With this silly ass fickle”
There’s room for two for the
Funkiest chicken in the land!

CHORUS